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When we talk about eating disorders, the focus is usually centred around the person experiencing the illness. However, behind many recovery journeys are the carers, family members, partners, siblings, and friends who provide support every day.
Supporting a loved one with an eating disorder can mean coordinating appointments, sitting through difficult meals, managing distress, learning treatment approaches, advocating within healthcare systems, and helping maintain routines that support recovery. Families and carers are often integral members of a person’s care team, playing a vital role in treatment engagement, the success of treatment, implementation, and long-term recovery.
Much of this work goes unseen. It is often unpaid and ongoing, involving a level of responsibility and commitment that many people may not immediately recognise.
Throughout this conversation, it is important to keep in mind that the challenges carers face are not because of the person they love, but because of the illness they are helping them recover from. Recovery is a shared journey, and both the person experiencing the eating disorder and the people supporting them deserve understanding, compassion, and support.
Supporting someone with an eating disorder often involves a wide range of practical responsibilities. This may include researching treatment options, coordinating referrals, attending appointments, adjusting work commitments, and helping implement treatment recommendations at home.
Day-to-day support can also involve planning and preparing meals, maintaining routines, managing household logistics, and providing encouragement through challenging parts of recovery.
Alongside these practical responsibilities, carers often provide significant emotional support. They may spend time checking in on their loved one's wellbeing, helping them navigate difficult situations, responding to distress and offering reassurance throughout treatment and recovery.
Eating disorders don't affect just one person. They can have a profound impact on families and support networks.
Parents may be balancing caregiving alongside work and the needs of other children, while siblings can experience worry, confusion, or feelings of being overlooked as attention is understandably directed towards the family member who is unwell. Partners may find themselves navigating shifts in their relationship while supporting recovery.
The demands of caregiving can also place pressure on relationships across the family. Differences in coping styles, financial stress, competing responsibilities, and the emotional toll of supporting a loved one through recovery can create tension between partners, family members, and support networks. For some, these pressures can contribute to relationship or marriage breakdowns.
Many carers describe living with a constant undercurrent of anxiety. They may find themselves concerned about their loved one's physical and mental health, treatment progress, setbacks in recovery, or what the future may hold. Others may experience feelings of frustration, helplessness, or guilt, questioning whether they are doing enough or whether they are supporting their loved one in the right way. These experiences are common, valid, and reflect the emotional demands that can accompany a caring role.
For many carers, one of the hardest parts is the isolation.
Eating disorders can be difficult for others to understand, and stigma surrounding these illnesses remains persistent. Friends, colleagues, or extended family members may not know what to say or how to help. As a result, carers can find themselves feeling alone in their experiences, even when surrounded by people.
Some carers also report feeling judged or criticised by others. They may face assumptions about their role in their loved one's illness, questions about the decisions they have made, or comments from people who do not fully understand the complexity of eating disorders. This can add another layer of stress and may make some carers feel reluctant to speak openly about what they are experiencing.
“For the person with an eating disorder – you don’t see the pain, fear and anxiety. Nor is it easy to understand. It’s easy to judge but important to think again.”
— Bronny Carroll, Carer & Lived Experience Lead
The demands of caregiving can also leave less time for hobbies, friendships, exercise, or other activities that once provided connection and enjoyment. Over time, social networks may shrink, contributing to a greater sense of disconnection and loneliness.
This isolation is something many carers report experiencing, particularly during long periods of treatment and recovery, or for those living in regional and remote communities where access to services and peer support may be more limited. Support groups, peer networks, and professional support can provide valuable opportunities to connect with others who understand the unique challenges of caring for someone with an eating disorder.
Supporting a loved one with an eating disorder can involve a range of hidden costs, from changes to work and family routines to the financial demands associated with treatment and care. For many carers, supporting a loved one can require a significant investment of time and energy.
As caring responsibilities increase, many parents, partners, and carers find themselves reducing work hours, taking extended leave, passing up career opportunities, or leaving the workforce altogether. At the same time, they may be facing significant out-of-pocket costs associated with treatment, travel, specialist appointments, and ongoing care.
The impact can be substantial. In EDFA's 2023 Carer Wellbeing Survey, 62% of carers reported experiencing financial stress as a result of their caring responsibilities1. Research has also found that many families incur treatment costs in the tens of thousands of dollars, while others report needing to space out therapy appointments because of financial pressures2.
The impact of caring is not limited to financial costs. Many carers make adjustments to their work, family life, social activities, and personal commitments to support a loved one's treatment and recovery. Over time, these responsibilities can reduce the time available for relationships, leisure activities, and their own wellbeing.
While these adjustments are often made willingly and out of care for a loved one, they can place additional demands on carers and the broader family unit, and their impacts can be significant. In EDFA's survey, 79% of carers reported they lacked time for themselves, while 84% said they felt overwhelmed by their caring responsibilities.
Despite these challenges, carers continue to play an important role in supporting recovery, often providing consistent care, advocacy, and encouragement throughout a loved one's treatment journey.
Amid the demands of supporting a loved one, it is important for carers to remember that their own wellbeing matters too.
Research shows that carers can be at increased risk of experiencing their own mental health challenges.3 Looking after your own health is not a luxury or something to feel guilty about, but a necessary part of being able to provide ongoing support.
“When you feel you want to explode, and you do, be kind to yourself. Then reframe the situation and start again. Everyone needs to be understood and deserves the patience and compassion — it’s more than a one-way street.”
— Bronny Carroll
Self-care doesn't have to be elaborate; it can simply mean taking regular short breaks as well as scheduling time just for yourself. Make a list of activities you enjoy and make time for them. This could include:
Maintaining your own physical and mental wellbeing can help protect against burnout and make it easier to sustain the long-term support that recovery often requires. Just as recovery is rarely achieved alone, caring shouldn't be done alone either.
It's important to acknowledge the immense commitment carers bring to supporting a loved one with an eating disorder. Their contribution plays a vital role in helping people engage in treatment and work towards recovery.
At the same time, recognising these challenges does not mean that a person living with an eating disorder is a burden.
An eating disorder is a serious mental health condition. The difficulties carers experience are not caused by the person they love, but by the illness itself. Many families find strength, resilience, and deeper connection through the recovery journey, even during its most challenging moments. Recovery may take time, but with the right support, it is possible.
“Please, please don’t lose hope. Recovery in whatever way, shape or form that might look like is possible. There are some wonderful, special moments. Look for them in any situation and treasure them.”
— Bronny Carroll
If you're supporting someone with an eating disorder, seeking support for yourself is an important part of maintaining your own wellbeing and capacity to care. Looking after your own needs is not taking away from your loved one's recovery. It's an important part of supporting it.
SupportED is a self-paced program that provides carers with evidence-informed skills to support a loved one’s recovery from an eating disorder.
The five-module program was co-designed with people with lived experience to build carers' confidence and reduce feelings of overwhelm by providing practical skills to support recovery.
You can complete each module at your own pace, revisiting them as many times as you need.
This program might be suitable for you if:
SupportED is free, confidential, and evidence-based; access the program today via the InsideOut eClinic.
Explore a range of fact sheets, guides, and resources designed for families, carers, and support people. Use the "Carers" filter in the InsideOut Resource Library to find resources relevant to your needs.
EDFA is a national not-for-profit run by carers with lived experience, connecting, supporting, and educating families and carers of people with eating disorders.
Their Fill The Gap Counselling Service is a free, online, one-on-one counselling sessions for eating disorder carers.
Receive tailored support from qualified counsellors with lived experience as an eating disorder carer, no waitlist or referrals required. Book session by session, with no cap on the number of sessions and this service can be done alongside the SupportED program.
Butterfly offers online support groups for parents, carers, family members, and loved ones supporting someone with an eating disorder. Free and confidential support, information, referrals, and brief counselling are also available through the Butterfly National Helpline on 1800 ED HOPE (1800 33 4673), via phone, webchat, and email.